What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 11:55
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
What did i know ?
What do you think is the most powerful line in the song "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" by Édith Piaf?
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
If a cat is feminine in German, what article do you give to a male cat?
Who then, do I blame.?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
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I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Why do I feel worthless most of the time?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
(And it was in our own minds.)
Who is the most annoying character in the Office?
Was to survive, this bastard.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Why do old men think young women and girls would want them over guys their own age?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
What would explain Trump blaming Ukraine for starting the war with Russia?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I was very sick at this time too.
Why is Harley-Davidson dropping diversity initiatives after the right-wing anti-DEI campaign?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I write beautiful poetry .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
What does it mean when someone is pretending to be me?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
What is a sermon to talk about men?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I will be 64.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
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I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
We were not on the streets..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Ive learnt so much.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
This is soul school!.
Put me off passion for life!!
I waited trembling.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
We all went to grammer schools
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I was seconnd youngest,
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
So, i spoilt her more .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I was scared of men, in general
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I never cut or harmed myself..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
So whats the point in blame.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But it wasn’t much.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She loved him until the end.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Why did i forgive my father ?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was 9 years of age.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She found it foreign!.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I said to her
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I think the readers, may guess!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And i lived it daily.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I couldn’t, believe it.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I have no regrets .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I don,t even have a pension.
But ive been too sick for many years..
But, we were locked up after school.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She wouldn,t have been !
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
My family never makes their pension either.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
All the time i was locked up.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
When she asked me how she looked .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My life is so biszare .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
As i do to all so called friends.?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
It was going to be , some day.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Comes on , in middle age.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
She was in good health!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Im still living with it.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One cannot live in the past .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
He knew the spot.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She married twice! .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Would this be the day?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!